I did research online and decided I'll do the pure experience and just fry a part of it. Needless to say, there are few other ingredients in the house, and I guess it doesn't mix well with mac'n cheese deluxe.
There would be quinoa there - from another enlightened food shopping spree - but I'm thinking I should not overdo it with health for now.
I could swear one of my hippie friends said it was really great... Really? I'd say it's over spiced crumbs of something, that explode in the pan, if you're not careful. It is edible I admit, unlike some other stuff that vegans claim would be.
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| Soy chorizo: This is what you get! |
To be honest, I am so sorry. I'm feeling terribly bad, that whenever I try to eat animal friendly I don't succeed. In fact, vegetarian convenience food upsets me on a regular basis. Why do they put the crumbs in a plastic foil so that it looks like sausage? One can't even cook it in the sausage-faking wrap. One needs to squeeze it out of there as instructed, messy fingers, hard to dose... just for the sausage feel? I thought vegans or vegetarians don't want a meat feel. Oh well, what do I know? I'm a vegan's nightmare, how can I understand?
I am an O.K. vegan in the sense that I don't keep pets, but occasionally walk my neighbor's under exercised dog. Lots of my shoes are "man made", which I am actually not too proud of either, but having watched the film "earthlings" I should be.
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| random youtube screenshot of a girl with nifty interior design |
I was about to put the trailer in here, but it doesn't reflect the film well. It's nasty. You can watch the movie on youtube in full length for free. It's done very well, and I recommend watching it. Joaquin Phoenix reads it, and Moby does the music. It documents how humans treat animals: as pets, meat, sports, fur, in laboratories, in the military, it's a very comprehensive overview, and reality is quite terrible. Args.
Reality however is reality and it should absolutely not be like that. I am terribly unproud of myself. I support mass meat production with my actions. How much of a difference does it make, when I buy cosmetics that are not animal tested? I plea guilty, and nobody puts me into jail. Opposite, I'm free to do as much harm as I want. And I am not the only one. What a world.
Let's eradicate the issue completely. Why do I need to eat in the first place? I tried not to at the age of 19 - of course that was an art project - and that's a fail. Any type of fasting later on was, which wasn't an art project, but a sad attempt to be hip like all my other fasting hipster friends.
After 2 days of real and book accompanied fasting, I could not stand up out of bed without my circulation. I had to rob on the floor over to my fasting book for first aid and then to the fridge to squeeze a slice of orange into myself. My unscientific art project that didn't have any instructions other then "don't eat" lasted longer and was more fun than that disaster.
It is pretty much proven to me, that one seriously does need to eat. And I have to say, I actually enjoy it a lot. How much better is there, than a nice lobster (boiled alive, preferably teased to be angry, so that its adrenalin makes it extra tasty... ). What creature am I? Is that human?
I'm rather a weakling. I lived vegetarian for a year and a half for ethical reasons. And then the doctor told me I'd have significant lacks of all sorts of vitamins, though I really tried hard to compensate. Weak! It didn't take me a day to eat meat again though, and the doctor was a welcomed excuse. I can't do this! What is human?
I don't believe in beating oneself up over anything either. So I'm not. And also I can pat myself on the shoulder for doing a bunch of really good things with role model character. Still, there is this painful conflict inside of me. Do other people have that too?
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| Pat the pad. I can't feel a thing. Oh yeah! |
The most common answer I get, when I ask "How do you deal with that?" is strikingly simple: "I don't." And then I get to see the sweetest smiles, most innocent and unaffected. Now how do you not deal with something when it's evidently urgent? Would that be human not to deal with it, and I'm not... human I mean? Am I part of a rare species who is doomed?
I hope you can read out of this, that I don't pity myself here. I don't even judge myself significantly. I'm merely following a coherence theory: I understand what pain is, because I can feel it, and I strongly dislike it. It's neither intrinsically good nor bad, it is just something I don't want by nature. I hence can't knowingly inflict pain onto somebody or something else without contradicting and disrespecting myself. But I do. It is illogical, irrational, incoherent and unethical. Bummer.
What to do with the rest of that soy chorizo? Who wants to deal with that? Not.
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